tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83584708295003769282024-03-19T05:19:02.023-07:00Just Like the Liliesanuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-9935474037308925292014-03-18T19:13:00.001-07:002014-03-18T19:20:17.852-07:00Once Upon the Inbetween<div>
The Inbetween. A state where everything is fine and nothing is fine at all. Here let me describe:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In the Inbetween there has been no crazy disturbance. Nor has there been any life altering event. You are neither sad, nor are you happy. Everything is just...it just is. It exists. And you can't really remember when things were different. It has been a slow fade, and you've become numb. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Whenever I realize that I've been logging travel hours meandering in the plains of the Inbetween, I grow concerned. The most difficult and troubling place along this journey is this very moment - the battle against my budding care and the apathy that still rests heavily upon me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
There's a desire, a desperation, to feel something - anything. So you overindulge. And if it's possible, you're left even emptier than before.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Satisfaction isn't found in empty loves. Nor is it found in mindless vices meant to numb. It isn't found in store-bought happiness, or bottled pleasure. And that, I suppose, is the greatest enigma of them all. That satisfaction exists in the moment when you feel most powerless and most apathetic. Satisfaction lies there, you only need to unveil it. Now is the right time, in the midst of the Inbetween. Now is the perfectly right time.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.theroadishome.com/assets/IMG_3996.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://www.theroadishome.com/assets/IMG_3996.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The right time to change. To fight. To cry. To laugh. To be ashamed. To love. To feel. And the right time to realize that all you ever wanted was right there, with you. Shadowed, but still living alongside you. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As you let the scales fall from your eyes, and you exchange your grime for grace, you feel it again. Deep within you. The steady rhythm that tells you that this life isn't meant for simple existence. That beat reminds you that mistakes can be overcome, that habits don't have to be habitual, that there is chance for change and it begins in the present. Right now.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Awake, my friends. Be bold. Be brave. Breathe deeply. There is still time left, and the time is now. There is only an Inbetween if you agree to believe in it's existence. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
- A</div>
anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-31529638545704469362013-09-04T07:15:00.000-07:002013-09-04T07:31:49.504-07:00Moon and Back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Igd8f7cBpY_h6QZOzHqS-hu_wLm1yAu07UgUIsgwQZXiSAswxieacaxHw_GO9gT9NeGs2H2SIKsCM1-6OY02OI1SWgEfD_9jg1Gg28BID7Hx030H21XIE6oN4nGjnOOvaNScE1AevUg/s1600/tumblr_mshxx1YG7j1s4bdezo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Igd8f7cBpY_h6QZOzHqS-hu_wLm1yAu07UgUIsgwQZXiSAswxieacaxHw_GO9gT9NeGs2H2SIKsCM1-6OY02OI1SWgEfD_9jg1Gg28BID7Hx030H21XIE6oN4nGjnOOvaNScE1AevUg/s320/tumblr_mshxx1YG7j1s4bdezo1_500.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Perhaps it's nitpicky, but I've never really liked the phrase "I love you to the moon and back."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I've seen people get so ushy-gushy romantic, or sweet and sentimental about it, as if that phrase was a huge testament of love.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
All that phrase makes me think is, <i>why such a short distance? </i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Now,<i> </i>I know the moon is quite a distance for us to travel (especially on a daily basis). I mean logistically speaking how often do we get our hands on a spaceship, right? But still, something about it feels limited. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I don't get warm fuzzies, I start questioning. Why just to the moon? And is this a single trip to the moon? Do you only love me one trip to the moon and back?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I suppose, I take love very seriously. I think of the people I have claimed to love, and I'd do more than go to the moon and back for them, I'd lay down my life for them. Further, I've encountered His amazing love, which in return has caused me to want to love others with proportionate extravagance.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20John%204:%207-12&version=NLT" target="_blank">1 John 4</a> talks about abiding in Christ's love and allowing that to cause an overflow into the lives of others around us - that His love would be made manifest in our worlds. Christ's love was characterized by dizzying patience, incomprehensible grace, unbelievable sacrifice, and depth we can't begin to fathom - <b>that's </b>the kind of love we're supposed to emulate.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As Christians, we shouldn't simply love people <i>to the moon and back</i>, we should love them <i>to infinity and beyond</i>.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
To infinity and beyond.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
That's more like it. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
-A</div>
anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-14294980886829228972013-07-11T11:41:00.001-07:002013-08-27T16:49:04.959-07:00Thursday Love<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
I realize that it has been awhile since I posted.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have no excuse except that I've been so busy and my thoughts are impossibly difficult to untangle at the moment. The single purpose for posting this is that it brought a smile to my face that I have yet to lose. So I felt like it was a worthwhile share :)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/9a9b1c76a143be4ce69dac07494f16d3/tumblr_mls4cdj8Q31ro4jalo2_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/9a9b1c76a143be4ce69dac07494f16d3/tumblr_mls4cdj8Q31ro4jalo2_250.gif" /></a><img border="0" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/0b85898e57ada5e347261794fac834dd/tumblr_mls4cdj8Q31ro4jalo1_250.gif" /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hope that life is treating you lovingly. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you have seen more <i>loving</i> days, I hope you are able to find the beauty yet still around you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
xx</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
- A</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316220878372717062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-60350603265825301222013-04-12T18:04:00.003-07:002013-04-12T18:14:54.144-07:00You will never leave me thirsty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Today, this song was especially poignant. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
It reflects my heart today. Heck, it reflects me today, my posture today. It is the state of today. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And, I suppose, sometimes it feels nice to have someone sing back to you your diary because it makes you realize you're not so alone after all. In fact, you're kind of...normal. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/LGumE9nkP3o?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Find You On My Knees"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
{By Kari Jobe}<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Troubles chasing me again,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breaking down my best defense,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm looking, God, I'm looking for you</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Weary just won't let me rest and fear is filing up my head.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm longing, God I'm longing for you</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I will find you in the place I'm in,<br />
<div>
find you when I'm at my end,</div>
<div>
find you when there's nothing left of me </div>
<div>
to offer you except for brokenness.</div>
<div>
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty</div>
<div>
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching</div>
<div>
I'll find you on my knees.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So what if sorrow shakes my faith,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
what if heartache still remains,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'll trust you, my God I'll trust you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'Cause You are faithful and</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will find you in the place I'm in,<br />
<div>
find you when I'm at my end,</div>
<div>
find you when there's nothing left of me </div>
<div>
to offer you except for brokenness.</div>
<div>
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty</div>
<div>
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching</div>
<div>
I'll find you on my knees.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When the pain is real, when it's hard to heal</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When my faith is shaken and my heart is broken</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and my joy is stolen, God I know that</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You lift me up, you'll never leave me searching,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
find you in the place I'm in, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
find you when I'm at my end,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
find you when there's nothing left of me </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to offer you except for brokenness.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'll find you on my knees.</div>
</div>
anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-50552716065240919802013-03-20T23:07:00.001-07:002013-03-20T23:07:14.802-07:00Life Quote <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUxL8GVupSo5EYsK61gcP4q2z-v0QOyjzj9f1YMQQWw90HPck6TEifN-eGg7KGhkDgN-aV0a1n-HQwI3uJ3PUZY977VdI-bC6LKrnfVHPV9RciEgMctYMp5lvEJHwGE-bQDwxHVB87iTg/s640/blogger-image--1038842253.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUxL8GVupSo5EYsK61gcP4q2z-v0QOyjzj9f1YMQQWw90HPck6TEifN-eGg7KGhkDgN-aV0a1n-HQwI3uJ3PUZY977VdI-bC6LKrnfVHPV9RciEgMctYMp5lvEJHwGE-bQDwxHVB87iTg/s640/blogger-image--1038842253.jpg" /></a></div>anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-79469657145921322832013-03-18T11:36:00.001-07:002013-07-16T20:13:36.882-07:00How to Guard a HeartIf any one of you have ever been in a relationship before and have gotten your heart broken, you know the process is especially painful. <br>
<br>
Yes, as if the break wasn't bad enough, it seems that everything reminds you of them. For me, even one suggestion of them (no matter how subtle or slight or even indirect) lifted the flood gates and brought in a whole slew of emotions and memories. <br>
<br>
Sometimes, sleep is your worst nightmare - which makes things very difficult when it seems all you want to do is sleep - but whilst asleep, you dream about them. For me, it was one of three things: 1) we broke up over and over again; 2) I watched as he fell in love with someone new; or 3) some terrible combination of the previous two in which I am completely rejected. I woke up, every day exhausted, sad, and already defeated. <br>
<br>
Then, when they move on and you still have a them-shaped hole in your heart, it feels like a knife has been stabbed into the hole that seemed to be healing. And you hurt all over again, exposed and raw.<br>
<br>
As a woman, I often question my value and worth. And though I would LOVE to say that my identity is found solely and completely in God. It's in painful moments like these when I realize how easily I bruise, and how truly unstable even my most basic ideas of identity and worth are as a Christian and as a woman. <br>
<br>
The mind is terrible at times. It's powerful, and it is often the primary place of attack from the enemy of our souls. <br>
<br>
I used to be all about soaking in the hurt. I didn't mean to, but it's like I couldn't help it. I really hurt and these "peace" and "joy" characters certainly didn't feel very present in my reality. I would often wake up and think to myself, "so this is another day I must endure. I wonder if I will always feel this empty and sad and alone."<br>
<br>
But that was the old me...the me for as long as I can remember. <br>
And now I'm changing. And change is painful, but mostly good.<br>
<br>
Having been broken in more ways than I thought possible, I've become less, and have taken on more of Him. That makes sense when you think that in our brokenness we are often sustained by His healing presence - that is, if we let Him. <br>
<br>
So, here I am...totally and completely broken, but held together and fortified by the UNCONDITIONAL, NEVER ENDING love of my Saviour, my King, which gives me strength and hope and breathes life and light back into the lifeless darkness I've been calling home. <br>
<br>
Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."<br>
<br>
Often people can read that verse and believe it is their responsibility to be the 'guard' this verse talks about, but if you know anything about humans...we aren't so great at being impenetrably strong. At least, most of the humans I know. And even if you are an exception to this rule, you aren't the BEST guard - I mean, don't get offended, how could you be? You don't see all the moving pieces and even your greatest efforts of strength have an expiry date. <br>
<br>
The best way I know how to guard my heart is to place it the strongest hands I know - God's. <br>
<br>
'Above all else, guard your heart'? <br>
If with God, the almighty, omnipotent one, my heart is found - seems like it'd be pretty safe there. <br>
<br>
'For everything you do flows from it...'<br>
If my heart is in God's hands, that means I'm surrounded by Him. I'm enveloped by Him. All senses are cut off - I see only Him. I'm overwhelmed by Him. And soon my actions will reflect my changed environment. Almost like, His touch rubs off on me.<br>
<br>
Another aspect of this verse that shouldn't be overlooked is the sheer value and price put on our hearts. Your heart, my heart. <br>
<br>
"Above all else" -- wow, God talks about my heart like it's the Kingdom's most prized possession...and to Him, it is. <br>
<br>
Your heart, my heart, is of immeasurable worth and value to God. <br>
<br>
It is in knowing that He values it that much that we also know we can trust Him with it. To not only guard it well, but to turn it - however broken it may be - into something beautiful, reflecting Him, and then to lead our strong and hopeful yet softened hearts into a place of true joy.<br>
<br>
So, as I enter into this season of change, and perhaps, as you do too - if protecting your heart is your prerogative, take it out of your charge, and give it to the one who is all-powerful, whose strength never fails.<br>
<br>
It seems simple enough, doesn't it?<br>
<br>
But can we trust God like this?<br>
<br>
Can you?<br>
<br>
Can I?<br>
<br>
Maybe you are your own strength, but I can only boast in my weakness and cling to the one in whom my strength is found...and my joy is found...my hope is found...really, my everything is found! God. <br>
<br>
He helps me to love again, to trust again, to hope again, to find my strength and to live victoriously - not simply endure. And on top of all of that, I know that my heart is so prized and valuable, that it is WORTH fighting for and to be won -- by someone that my King deems worthy. <div><br></div><div>There's one last verse I want to leave you with to prove my whole point of our Lord being the ultimate guardian of our hearts: </div><div><br></div><div><i>"The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give him thanks." </i>- Pslam 28:7 </div><div>
<br>
-A<br>
<br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaq9XZPuw8kmJ1-iuirZhiMZwZ2W_5UYn5hDBEi1oOJI_5hzmMC3sBfAs6zEQrYso9MURhYtW2l4e_oGKrkWv9Auwm7sA8TqXNYPNtuCicqSpiN0gXknISOzKIo5zrrOOzNJECpyilyMc/s640/blogger-image-1205909203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaq9XZPuw8kmJ1-iuirZhiMZwZ2W_5UYn5hDBEi1oOJI_5hzmMC3sBfAs6zEQrYso9MURhYtW2l4e_oGKrkWv9Auwm7sA8TqXNYPNtuCicqSpiN0gXknISOzKIo5zrrOOzNJECpyilyMc/s640/blogger-image-1205909203.jpg"></a></div>
</div>anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-89728693260314762992013-03-06T14:43:00.004-08:002013-03-14T18:34:32.738-07:00Rain, rain, please come and stay<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Dedicated to all of you who have ever had a blue and rainy friend float your way. </i></div>
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9czr1Koad1rutbklo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9czr1Koad1rutbklo1_500.gif" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sometimes a blue, rainy feeling will mosey in <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
He’ll take a seat next to you and rest his head on your
shoulder <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
like an old friend would.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
And his presence next to you </div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
brings pain and relief</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
like when you realize the fears you had were true</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
and you exhale,</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I thought so...</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He's like that,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And he understands that you've been trying</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for too long to be strong.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
So you cry<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
and he cries<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
And for a moment, <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
It feels nice to cry<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Right, to cry<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
But then the crying never stops<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
And his head never leaves your shoulder<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
all the while, your blouse is practically see-through<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
from all the tears that have been cried - <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
your head aches a bit<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
and your nose wants to copy your eyes<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
And you wonder,<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Will it always be like this?</i><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Surely I’m all out of tears…</i><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet, still more come<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
And it’s impossible to see anything<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
through eyes made weepy and bleary<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
and puffy by all of the tears that passed them by<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
You’ve lost so much already<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
and you know you have to lose him too -<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Your dear, rainy companion<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because while the both of you kept crying,</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
the world kept going.</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
And though your world stopped<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
no one else’s followed suit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So for this moment, though bittersweet,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
it's time to let go of another friend,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
because rain was never meant to stay -</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
even Noah saw a rainbow's bend. </div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
- A</div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment-->anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-32138680802154555122013-03-04T00:03:00.001-08:002013-03-20T14:15:50.164-07:00Courage<div class="tr_bq">
{By Alison Sudol}<br />
<br />
I spent so much of my life holding parts of myself so close, so tight<br />
So afraid that if I opened my heart and my arms to the world, something terrible would come in<br />
or something important would fall out.<br />
I held my breath and my tongue<br />
smiled when I was holding back tears<br />
apologizing for so many things I didn’t do<br />
I’m sorry<br />
I’m sorry<br />
always sorry sorry<br />
I don’t know what for, why I was so sorry<br />
or why I was so afraid of making mistakes<br />
of being too quiet<br />
or too loud,<br />
of being unruly<br />
or free.<br />
<br />
And then one day<br />
I decided that maybe I could try to learn how to live life a little differently<br />
and maybe learn to enjoy it a little more<br />
and start saying sorry a little less<br />
(unless I actually did something worth apologizing for)<br />
and I opened my arms a little bit, then a little more<br />
<br />
nothing too terrible came in<br />
maybe a few weird hugs that lingered too long<br />
and a couple of jabs at the general rib vicinity here and there<br />
but none of them really hurt too badly,<br />
not permanently.<br />
<br />
Something important did fall out, though<br />
thoughts<br />
real thoughts<br />
unapologetic thoughts<br />
and ideas<br />
and actions,<br />
art</div>
music<br />
film<br />
belief<br />
and love.<br />
<br />
And my heart could breathe, and stretch out<br />
and it was a lovely lovely feeling.<br />
<br />
But then out came the fears, too<br />
(since everything else was)<br />
And they were big sharp-toothed growling snarling stupid drooling jerk-faced monster fears<br />
and all I wanted to do was crawl under the bed<br />
<br />
but then I remembered, that’s where the real monsters live<br />
- so there went that plan.<br />
<br />
There was nowhere to go but forward<br />
into the fire<br />
the fog<br />
the who-knows-what-that-is<br />
the unknown.<br />
<br />
I looked at the fears in the face,<br />
and lo and behold, started to laugh.<br />
hard.<br />
because they looked ridiculous.<br />
<br />
Monsters are always funny-looking -<br />
if you take away the scary music, turn on the lights and really look at them<br />
it’s all chewing gum and corn syrup.<br />
kind of sad in a way, like broken toys.<br />
<br />
And I thought,<br />
if I could only remember the way this feels,<br />
I would never be afraid again.<br />
<br />
And yet it’s funny,<br />
how over and over again<br />
I forget.<br />
<br />
I start saying sorry again<br />
and start wondering if I’ve been too quiet<br />
or too loud<br />
or if I’ve made a mistake somewhere along the way...<br />
<br />
But I want to get to the end of my life knowing that I ran through it with my arms wide open<br />
the wind rushing through my hair<br />
crying the laughing kind of tears<br />
and the regular kind<br />
in equal measure<br />
<br />
occasionally falling on my face<br />
but always getting back up again<br />
<br />
full of joy and sadness and passion and wonder<br />
<br />
and maybe with a few scars to remind me of where I’ve been<br />
<br />
somehow, in some tiny but definite way, having made the world a little better for living<br />
fully<br />
kindly<br />
with love<br />
integrity<br />
and with unwavering faith in humanity.<br />
<br />
I want to know that i made a path in the wilderness<br />
and went somewhere new and beautiful every morning...<br />
and left breadcrumbs behind me so others could follow if they wanted...<br />
<br />
and that the life I lived, the life that I had loved with all my heart,<br />
was nothing to be sorry for<br />
and never had been.<br />
<br />
something that’s also easy to forget<br />
is that the future<br />
starts<br />
<span style="text-align: center;">now.</span>anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-52317765967828319712013-02-19T13:40:00.001-08:002013-03-20T13:53:38.739-07:00The heart of a woman<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQU6KEW5szZRgAoxxa5eHh1EmM-MsQwePzAt2j2RTQ_Fzo_C-7LZGkaM6AKV2JRWSFr0-r7XtZYC4C2P4EM4DHc5uognF4twT70XX2U3-oZAblZ6vsNm3QMMjjrRWFgB08EdcgKPmzwUyT/s1600/IMG_8902.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQU6KEW5szZRgAoxxa5eHh1EmM-MsQwePzAt2j2RTQ_Fzo_C-7LZGkaM6AKV2JRWSFr0-r7XtZYC4C2P4EM4DHc5uognF4twT70XX2U3-oZAblZ6vsNm3QMMjjrRWFgB08EdcgKPmzwUyT/s400/IMG_8902.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Tell me I'm lovely</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That I'm worth the fight.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
or more, worth the wait.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Will you forget me when I'm gone?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If my lips are shut</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and my hands can no longer write</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
if we're far apart </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Will I quickly fade from your mind?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What if you couldn't know</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What if you couldn't see</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What if the road ahead was all twisted and turned</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
With no encouragement from me - </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
would your love remain?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Day after day you remarked on my worth</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Treasured me and gave me your word.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You called me a princess</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
said that you'd go the distance</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And in this moment I wonder</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
if I'm really worth it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My sister said it before me, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I echo a similar cry,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Place me like a seal over your heart, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
like a seal on your arm; </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for love is as strong as death -</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
unyielding as the grave."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And in return I long to hear</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
what my brother said to her,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"You have stolen my heart, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
my sister, my bride; </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you have stolen my heart </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
with one glance of your eyes."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Would the love you claimed remain?<br />
Or do I wait for when<br />
a <i>truer love</i> comes my way</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>I guess that feels like the ultimate love story to me...the love that grows even after I'm gone, when I'm out of sight, or far away. An enduring love that stands the test of time and space - like a wild fire that cannot be tamed; like the rain that can't be kept from falling to the earth.</i></div>
<i><br /></i>
- Aanuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-81125351225685579922013-02-18T12:46:00.001-08:002013-03-18T20:30:57.681-07:00Acceptance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkW2C-iZ6Mk9u_zN-YzH7HS_ebe-shcYgoODNjI3poJM2INHxsZL1WcSRss1hdewpLl7R7nrb2Immh1yZYlS_8w_BcdIr21S7fdoP2WfYS8AaMYewRKHZgIH9iyspt3XyOAlXo1IROqQ8Q/s1600/IMG_9539.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkW2C-iZ6Mk9u_zN-YzH7HS_ebe-shcYgoODNjI3poJM2INHxsZL1WcSRss1hdewpLl7R7nrb2Immh1yZYlS_8w_BcdIr21S7fdoP2WfYS8AaMYewRKHZgIH9iyspt3XyOAlXo1IROqQ8Q/s400/IMG_9539.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It doesn't mean you've "moved on" or even that you've "gotten over it"</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">No, it's not that at all.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance is more than that, it's a deep assurance in your spirit that senses God's presence in the midst of the chaos and heartache. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It isn't that you've "fallen out of love" </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">No, I love too deeply to ever fall out of it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">In fact, I may love even deeper in this acceptance, because it's when you seek out the other's higher good. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It is when bitterness ceases. It is when we forgive. It is when we love purely. It is when we show genuine affection.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It is when with open hands and outstretched arms we allow God in and allow Him to heal.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It is fondly looking back on the past and knowing that though the present is difficult to figure out and the future is clouded at best, everything in this life happens for a reason.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Maybe of circumstance, but perhaps more of God.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance of His love.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance of His sovereignty.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance of His heart for us.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It is an acknowledgement of all elements of your heart:</div><div style="text-align: center;">- The love still etched in deep into you</div><div style="text-align: center;">- The confusion, the loss</div><div style="text-align: center;">- The assurance that in the love, in the pain, and in the heartache, you feel God has a wonderful plan in store. </div><div style="text-align: center;">- The surrender of your heart and all of it's emotions to the throne of the King, knowing that that is the safest place for your heart to be.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Brings healing, hope, and perhaps more love than you knew was possible.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Acceptance.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hand"</div><div style="text-align: center;">- Psalm 31:14-15</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">- A</div>anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-25050752806564527332013-02-15T15:12:00.001-08:002013-03-20T16:33:08.014-07:00Reason Number One: Location<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.theroadishome.com/assets/teenagers-on-a-beach-1.jpg?84cd58" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://www.theroadishome.com/assets/teenagers-on-a-beach-1.jpg?84cd58" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What if you shared the same passion</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Shared the same heart</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Were compatible</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Had overwhelming love for God and each other,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just one thing came in the way...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Location.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What if everything else was what you had hoped for.<br />
Every other aspect you shared.<br />
If you found that you and them, your spirits,<br />
were made of the same thing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet just one thing came in the way...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Location.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What if no matter how hard you prayed,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It seemed like nothing would change.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And no matter what you could say,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God's face stayed the same.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And you wish one thing was different...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Location.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And you think of the ways, it could work</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But it all seems impossible now. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You're convinced their memory of you will fade</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That your love, they'll forget...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet, you still wish that'd some day you'd find your way to the same</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Location. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
Then as each moment passes, one day after the next...<br />
They simply move on, but from your life they're still missed<br />
In no time at all,<br />
they've found somebody new<br />
And you wonder if what separated you was really just<br />
Location.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
- A</div>
anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-8874781454394903712013-02-11T00:07:00.001-08:002013-03-20T13:56:30.311-07:00Calling out to Father on those Other kinds of days.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif6QC-b6z_D4HukkOJFdQrShxhIpIGycdZ59HgxVA36GC1VnChixioWoxnx6ij8J9vqB7fjSDOm3awof0G0D0tiqh64m6_b4k6Lvel6H7XXvICY2UlmYXsd0SaM4_ByKAqky48nsV7h9Td/s1600/IMG_3049.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif6QC-b6z_D4HukkOJFdQrShxhIpIGycdZ59HgxVA36GC1VnChixioWoxnx6ij8J9vqB7fjSDOm3awof0G0D0tiqh64m6_b4k6Lvel6H7XXvICY2UlmYXsd0SaM4_ByKAqky48nsV7h9Td/s400/IMG_3049.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Some days are better than Others</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Others just hurt</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I've been circling around asking questions</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I'm lower than the dirt</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There are only two things I ask...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the first, to carry out Your plans</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But the second, dare I say,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Is something I can't have</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A hoarders dream house</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Is the sad labyrinth of my mind </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm imprisoned by circumstance,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Impossibilities, pain and time. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Like a wretched little girl, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Whose lost her best friend,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They talk of replacements</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But that hurts worse in the end</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There's only two things I ask for,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God, only two</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'd do anything to prove it...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'd do anything </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'd do anything for you...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just please Father, if there is any way</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please hear my cry</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please see my heart<br />
<br />
I don't understand anymore</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
- A</div>
anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-56025332369586278582012-07-02T12:53:00.002-07:002012-07-02T12:53:16.685-07:00Losing your footingAn excerpt from a daily devotional I read, authored by Max Lucado.<br />
<br />
"God is strong and can help you not to fall." - Jude 24<br />
<br />
"You and I are on a great climb.... You took your first step the day you confessed Christ as the Son of God. He gave you his harness - the Holy Spirit. In your hands he placed a rope - his Word. Your first steps were confident and strong, but with the journey came weariness, and with the height came fear. You lost your footing.... For a moment, which seemed like forever, you tumbled wildly.... But then the rope tightened, and the tumble ceased.... And though you can't see your guide, you know him. You know he is strong. You know he is able to keep you from falling."anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-68806797744310518542012-06-19T17:13:00.003-07:002012-06-19T17:13:45.621-07:00Safe & Sound<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/RzhAS_GnJIc/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/RzhAS_GnJIc&fs=1&source=uds" />
<param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" />
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" />
<embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/RzhAS_GnJIc&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<br />
Lately I've been inspired, by this song. Safe and Sound sung by Taylor Swift, is on the soundtrack for the movie <i>The Hunger Games</i> that premiered in theaters across the nation this last spring. I don't know what it is about this song that just "gets me." Maybe it's the eerie breathiness, or the haunting harmonies, regardless it's shaking fingers touch my heart, its in my mind. What I find most poignant is how this <i>sweet melancholy</i> is bound within this song - a real pain, and a lingering hope. <i> </i><br />
<br />
Sweet melancholy is one of the aspects of life I most appreciate. Now don't get me wrong, I don't particularly enjoy pain and I am not masochistic. However, I do have a poets soul and most times that keeps me floating somewhere above the ground, fully here, but not quite. This sweet melancholy, is in essence, leaning into the pain, and in that, recognizing the beauty of the present. <br />
<br />
I feel very deeply, but I see the purpose in the hurt, the purpose in the trials. <br />
<br />
I don't have this incredible strength or an optimism that overlooks all odds, or even a faith that stands firm and resolute. And perhaps this is a way that I cope with allowing myself to feel, by turning everything into a poetic expression; regardless, it has helped me, in light of circumstances, to see the beauty that remains. But I consider it a precious gift to be able to have my heart break and move towards unwavering hope, to feel at peace deep within my soul. <br />
<br />
Some may ask: well, what's the point? Why go through this, if it only brings hurt? <br />
<br />
My answer to that would be along these lines...<br />
If by chance, my hurt, and journey from it can help a single soul, it has been worth it. If I can relate, or hold someone's hand - if I can sit with someone in a dark place, so they know they aren't alone, it has been worth it. If I can whisper hope, and visions of freedom into their ear, then it has been worth it.<br />
<br />
Or, say in the case of love - whether it is <i>Phileo, </i>which is most often loosely defined as "brotherly love" or in a more romantic sense - what is it to mean to <i>Agape </i>love within those two contexts? It's the idea that you love without abandon. You love courageously, ultimately in the face of rejection or with the the realization that the other person may never understand that love or even reciprocate it. <br />
<br />
In matters of the heart, there is incredible risk. Most people harden up their hearts to protect themselves from getting hurt - and I understand that response, it's normal. But to emulate the ultimate love I've experienced in my life, Christ's love for me, I recognize characteristics that are essential to not only love fully, but also live fully....<br />
<br />
Christ never hesitates to pour out love, even in our unfaithfulness, which is for me, more often than I'd like to admit. And when He pours it out, He withholds nothing. He gives everything to people who don't deserve it, understand it, or even want it. <br />
<br />
I don't avoid pain. I don't hate it. But I do understand it's role in my life.<br />
<br />
And in the midst of pain, I know that I'll be safe and sound...<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I remember tears streaming down your face</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I said, "I'll never let you go"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When all those shadows almost killed your light</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone,"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight</span></i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Just close your eyes</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The sun is going down</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You'll be alright</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">No one can hurt you now</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Come morning light</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You and I'll be safe and sound</span></i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Don't you dare look out your window darling</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Everything's on fire</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The war outside our door keeps raging on</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Hold on to this lullaby</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Even when the music's gone</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gone</span></i> </blockquote>
<br />
Embrace the sweet melancholy, and keep stepping on. Your life is a beautiful song.anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-57495192743634584212012-02-24T11:17:00.002-08:002012-02-24T12:23:23.436-08:00Purpose & NeedsI was in the middle of an altar call. I was searching for some sort of encouragement, that God would use one of these pastors to confirm and speak into my life. I prayed under my breath, "God, please hear me. Please pour out your love on me." I heard him reply, "Anuhea, in private I will pour my love on you, but now, you need to open up your eyes to the hurt around you." <br />
<br />
This is my purpose here. It reminds me of a prophetic word that I received this summer:<br />
"you arent like the weak lamb that needs constant care. You are like the Shepard. this role requires more responsibility...the one always helping and rarely receiving help. God chose you for this role because He knows you can and will handle it."<br />
<br />
I am so humbled that God would pick me. This role I know, breathes life and brings healing, I'm so honored that God would entrust me in this capacity. These hearts are of high importance to Him, so they must also be to me. <br />
<br />
I try to be strong for others and for myself, but my heart needs strength, support, encouragement, care, grace, understanding and most importantly - unconditional, unending, all encompassing love, as I stumble my way through this process.anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-82527925849040270272012-01-24T23:36:00.000-08:002012-01-24T23:41:19.759-08:00DreamerBy surprise he crept in.<br />
He moved so smoothly,<br />
I was sure I was dreaming.<br />
I turn around to see his beautiful face -<br />
but he is gone.<br />
He left me, just as quietly as he came.anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-26279433240272401632012-01-20T02:15:00.000-08:002012-01-20T02:24:10.361-08:002.0Somewhere in the last year, I forgot the extent of God's love for me. I forgot the ways in which he touched my heart. I forgot his tenderness and about his attention to detail. I forgot that he wants to set my heart aflame with his love. I forgot that he is with me, always.<br />
<br />
I want to walk consciously with that thought, that God is ALWAYS with me. It transforms thought and it shifts paradigms. <br />
<br />
On a different note..............<br />
I love Lord of the Rings. My favorite character is Arwen, I want to be like her. There is this fierce beauty to her. She is both an elegant maiden and a warrior. Tolkien describes her in the following way:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">Young she was and yet not so. The braids of her dark hair were touched by no frost; her white arms and clear face were flawless and smooth, and the light of stars was in her bright eyes, grey as a cloudless night; yet queenly she looked, and thought and knowledge were in her glance, as of one who has known many things that the years bring.</blockquote>Obviously, there is a bit of fantasy here, something I will never be able to physically attain...but I'd like to be captivating, and inviting, elegant and wise. I cannot strive to be like that though...it would defeat the purpose. To be beautiful is to be at rest. I cannot strive, instead I must be. And to be, I must find myself in God. For it's his beauty that lasts. My beauty is only a result of his.anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-72268351283264781042012-01-19T22:37:00.000-08:002012-01-19T22:37:58.322-08:001.0A couple close girlfriends and I have started a quest. We are single, and important to many single girl's is her heart. Our hearts, as women, are beautiful things. They are like jewels, to be cherished and sought after. Like the King's prized gems, they are kept locked away for a select few to enjoy, including himself. He gazes upon his jewels lovingly, he makes sure they shine brightly and beautifully. To be this beautiful gem, however, the stone had to be chiseled, scrapped, smoothed, sanded, polished. The King desired them too much to leave them how they were, he knew that they were beautiful and deserved display, for others to look on their beauty in awe. Had it not been for the King's fierce devotion to his crowned jewels, they would not be so beautiful. <br />
<br />
So during the next 24 hours we are intentionally choosing love. We are choosing love over our comfort. We are choosing to throw ourselves into the arms of God in hopes that he will take our hearts and take care of them. <br />
<br />
It's hard to release control, but it's necessary. I know I cannot take as good of care of my heart as he can. I need him to hold it.<br />
<br />
Beginning this process, I've raked through my heart and have found that I am painfully insecure (something not completely surprising to discover). This is not a competition. I'm not meant to strive. I'm meant to be, to exist, to live in the fullness of who I've been created to be.<br />
<br />
What does that look like? I don't know.<br />
How do I be vulnerable while still protecting my heart? I don't know.<br />
<br />
I suppose the only answer I do have, is that we must love people the way God has loved us.<br />
I know that that means to love with the risk of that love not being returned.<br />
It means to love selflessly.<br />
It means to love passionately.<br />
It means to love purely.<br />
It means sacrifice.<br />
It means surrendering your heart.<br />
It means knowing your design.<br />
It means giving grace, and allowing grace for yourself.<br />
It means being intentional with relationships.<br />
It means being tender.<br />
It means loving honestly.<br />
<br />
How do I do that while still "protecting my heart"? I don't know yet.<br />
<br />
I hope that God will show me. I desire to know his heart for me.anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-4341530782406296632011-12-05T11:02:00.000-08:002011-12-06T01:38:29.628-08:00The truth about TRUE loveI was so impacted the other day when I read these lines ....<br />
<blockquote>Love God—and Love People.<br />
<br />
When you love God, you desire to know Him.<br />
<br />
When you love people, you desire for them to know God.</blockquote>It is not enough for us to know Jesus and not be inflamed by His passionate love for people. <br />
<br />
It changes your perspective when you see people through God's eyes. How far am I willing to go for a single soul? <br />
<br />
The only ones that will change the world are the ones who die to themselves and who are radically and passionately after the heart of God, who linger in the presence of God on a daily basis. It's only from that vine that we will bear good fruit.<br />
<br />
My heart is yours God. I long for our heartbeats to be in sync, that I long to share your eyes, and I pray for your wisdom and strength to rise up and do something about what I see.anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-6368702874238534302011-12-05T03:19:00.000-08:002011-12-05T03:19:35.974-08:00Woman<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;"><em>A poem I wrote about uncovering beauty and loving passionately.</em></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">Your heart and mine were intertwined.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">A love from you was my heart's desire.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">But I feared from loving would come loss,</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">and my faded spirit and features grew alike.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I wanted to enchant you</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">But I have caused your heart to doubt.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I wanted to embrace you</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">But I have made you feel alone.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I wanted it all, but I didn't know - </div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I didn't know how to love you.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">What once was brilliant quickly dimmed</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">and my wilting heart could not move yours.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">My arm was bandaged tight, kept from sight</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">but undone I saw infection clawing at my heart.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">In my darkness, dirt, disease, despair</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">came this piercing light and healing touch.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">with one kiss I was unchained -</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">without those shackles, beauty reigned.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I discovered it was not in the skill of application</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">or in painstakingly perfecting disguise.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">Beauty flows from faith, love and joy</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">to stir the sleeping back to life.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">So my dearest love,</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I pray you see this twisted rose uncurled - </div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">Unbound I love as a woman, not a hurting girl.</div>anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-54094992846627152862011-07-29T12:52:00.000-07:002011-07-29T12:52:16.802-07:00Homesick<div align="center"><em>A poem I wrote about chasing after love but never finding satisfaction.</em></div><div align="center"></div>We walk aimlessly<br />
Down empty streets<br />
And shaded alleys<br />
For love we cannot find. <br />
<br />
Behind corner stores,<br />
Between the grocery shelves, <br />
Burried in crowded rows, and<br />
Beyond uncaring screens – we search. <br />
<br />
We even crack the spine,<br />
read the turn of riddled lines, <br />
but find them empty too. <br />
<br />
Surely, filled with love, <br />
but none for you. <br />
<br />
Whilst lovers roam, desperately,<br />
some believe they find the key.<br />
But still they see they lack a single piece.<br />
Such a strange, large spot to fill. <br />
<br />
I’ve witnessed none like it before - <br />
Amongst the shelves, the streets or screens.<br />
We still believe a gem is there amongst<br />
the grime and dirt we see. <br />
<br />
Some find one they think may fit.<br />
But trying they can't touch fingertips. <br />
<br />
Others, seem to fill the space, <br />
but it hurts when shoved into place. <br />
<br />
We're either left with gaping holes, or we suffocate. <br />
<br />
Lovesick. <br />
Perhaps, homesick – <br />
is what we really are.anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-63748221943613919692011-07-20T17:00:00.000-07:002011-07-20T17:50:15.399-07:00Surrender<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Ay0CmEvA_Uuozf05yQub7XsKHX4Guw_ErlRyKhoeXWMFtzP2xj-jGJFSf-C-1C35WqLAbzahTAD71-23zScvjepc7DmpWCB-qt2NpLQ3Diw6HlqDY62sV_kl6hMCfS_DjxEXyKvZAT4/s1600/surrender+to+a+beautiful+God.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Ay0CmEvA_Uuozf05yQub7XsKHX4Guw_ErlRyKhoeXWMFtzP2xj-jGJFSf-C-1C35WqLAbzahTAD71-23zScvjepc7DmpWCB-qt2NpLQ3Diw6HlqDY62sV_kl6hMCfS_DjxEXyKvZAT4/s400/surrender+to+a+beautiful+God.jpg" t$="true" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><span style="font-size: x-small;">I'm falling in love with so much more than me. </span></em><br />
<br />
<em>This is a poem I wrote called "Surrender" It's about laying down your heart for God's heart. It's about searching after the ultimate love. </em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span></em><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">When I alone plan the course before</div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;">Less grace upon my head is poured</div><div style="text-align: left;">So I give up my heart to all of you</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">When I seek to gain an honored place</div><div style="text-align: left;">I know that I may fall from grace</div><div style="text-align: left;">So I give up my heart to all of you</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">When I pray that I may find true love</div><div style="text-align: left;">I fix my eyes on things above</div><div style="text-align: left;">And I give up my heart to all of you</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">When I think upon my hopes and dreams</div><div style="text-align: left;">And I pray about what might be</div><div style="text-align: left;">I give up my heart to all of you</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">It’s in you a put my trust,</div><div style="text-align: left;">It’s in you I put my faith,</div><div style="text-align: left;">It’s in you that all my dreams come true.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">You are my everlasting love</div><div style="text-align: left;">On you I set my sights upon</div><div style="text-align: left;">In you I find true love and happiness.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">You are enough,</div><div style="text-align: left;">You are enough,</div><div style="text-align: left;">You are enough for me.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">So I give up my heart to all of you.</div></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em> It's hard to give up your heart, but God doesn't mistreat it. God takes our hearts, heals the damage that's been done to it. He treats it like the precious treasure that it is.</em> <a href="http://bible.cc/proverbs/4-23.htm">Proverbs 4:23</a></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em> It hurts because he refuses to just give us a band-aid, he removes the splinter and medicates the wound. He loves us too much to let us live with an infection. Even if, like a young child, we fight and thrash and protest against His aid. Or when tears roll down our cheeks from the pain of removal. But He saves us from infection, or perhaps a fate far worse than that.</em> <a href="http://bible.cc/jeremiah/33-6.htm">Jeremiah 33:6</a></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em> All the while, He sees us through, comforting us. He gives us hope, love and the faith to dream of more than we would have previously settle for - because we didn't know our worth, we didn't know how the father has always seen us.</em> <a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/romans/8-29.htm">Romans 8:29-32</a></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em> Dream big, all the while surrendering all of yourself to all of Him. The deeper we seek after God, the more our hearts align with His-the more our desries align with His.</em> <a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/6-21.htm">Matthew 6:21</a></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em> When we are seeking after the things of the Lord, it is far more likely that our desires will be given to us. </em><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/psalms/37-4.htm">Psalm 37:4-6</a></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em> </em></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em> And in His perfect timing, He will bring about the truest, deepest, desires of our hearts.</em> <a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/ephesians/3-17.htm">Ephesians 3:17b-20</a></span><em><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span></em> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em> If God is "good" than He is <strong>always</strong> good - even in our lack.</em> <a href="http://bible.cc/psalms/107-9.htm">Psalm 107:9</a></span></div></blockquote>anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-15995062732886993902011-07-15T12:32:00.000-07:002011-07-18T18:54:34.261-07:00The Tin<div align="center"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.visualphotos.com/photo/2x2912377/sunlight_shining_through_pine_forest_cb030308.jpg" style="cursor: hand; height: 295px; width: 527px;" /></div><br />
<div align="center"><em>I wrote this poem "The Tin" about my current state-of-being.</em></div><br />
I woke up between worlds<br />
in the green and quiet place.<br />
The stillness overcomes me.<br />
Becomes me.<br />
<br />
Merged into one<br />
I feel the heartbeat of the earth.<br />
My lungs fill with each<br />
breath it takes<br />
It inhales, I exhale.<br />
<br />
Patched by fabric and velcro<br />
Kept together by glue and twine<br />
Fastened tightly by bolts and screws<br />
I try my best to keep from falling apart.<br />
<br />
But they did not hold,<br />
my joints bend and creak under<br />
the weight.<br />
<br />
But I've made it to this place. <br />
Though I didn't walk here alone<br />
I recall from my rusting stupor,<br />
memories of weightlessness<br />
and blurred floor beneath me.<br />
<br />
In this green and quiet place<br />
my hands are no longer made of iron,<br />
my feet no longer made of lead,<br />
and my heart no longer forged of steel.<br />
for the first time, I feel -<br />
I breathe.<br />
<br />
I dig at a memory -<br />
that I may have breathed before.<br />
But it's distant and vague,<br />
and like a phantom, it slips<br />
away.<br />
<br />
With a raven-haired halo,<br />
I listen to our shared breaths,<br />
feel the pulse of our hearts.<br />
<br />
I inhale the sweet smell of pine<br />
And exhale a garden.<br />
<br />
There is life in this place –<br />
where the river giggles past<br />
and the water kisses the bank,<br />
healing the edge.<br />
<br />
There is shelter in this place -<br />
where the trees grow tall<br />
and shade the earth,<br />
craddle the ground.<br />
<br />
There is joy in this place –<br />
where the birds sing cheerfully,<br />
exchanging wholesome vows,<br />
secret melodies.<br />
<br />
There is love in this place –<br />
where the water and the<br />
trees and the birds<br />
take care of me.<br />
<br />
Lying here,<br />
I breathe in your fragrance,<br />
I can nearly taste your sweetness<br />
on my lips. And I long to move<br />
from the inbetween,<br />
into your arms.anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-23831013509027766572010-12-14T08:37:00.000-08:002010-12-14T08:38:54.219-08:00Today we'll pretend to hear the songs.<div>If I close my eyes real tight, I can almost imagine it. My life - laced with medleys; following me, every step producing a new rhythm, a new note. </div><div><br /></div><div>Pi-Pit-Pi-Pit-Ting</div><div><br /></div><div>The rain slides nicely down the crystal pane. I can almost feel it drip down on my face, it leaves a soft cool trail as it passes by on the other side. </div><div><br /></div><div>My life, I imagine, would be far more interesting if a musical score followed me. I might entertain the notion more that my life is something interesting or worth watching. And right now it would be a soft ballad, a song that showed off this rain, it's quite beautiful today.</div><div><br /></div>anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8358470829500376928.post-20067331332371610592010-03-17T11:03:00.000-07:002010-03-17T11:06:00.535-07:00Marching PastDisclaimer: I wrote this William Carlos William-esque poem in Creative Writing the other day. I amused myself with it, so here it is. <div><br /></div><div>The ant marched</div><div>toward the sink</div><div><br /></div><div>leaving behind</div><div>a trail</div><div><br /></div><div>the others</div><div>will follow</div><div><br /></div><div>after he</div><div>is gone.</div>anuheahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10264269079491690239noreply@blogger.com