9.29.2009

My mind speaks louder than my voice

Usually, I don't mind being by myself. I'm never really lonely.
Today might have been an exception though.
I had one of those dreams that felt exceptionally real.
- You know the ones I'm talking about right?
Well, I woke up confused and disappointed.
A guy I haven't thought about in
years had a
starring role in this dream of mine. And it hurt terribly.
But such is life, right?

So I went to lunch alone, got my food alone, sat alone and ate alone
And I was surprisingly okay - seems I recovered well from the both
uplifting and spirit-crushing dream of mine.
In fact, I said a quick prayer while friends of mine filed in
that went a little like this,
"Please, don't let anyone sit by me."
No one did.
That says one of two things: 1) I have no "friends" 2) God respected my request
I'm going to go with the latter.
Though I do feel a need to convince you
that I'm not as much of a loner as I seem...it's just been one of those days.

As I sat there, I began to consciously think
about the random thoughts
that passed through my head.
Let me leave you with an example - This series occurred within the span of 30 seconds:
[As I looked at this girl walk past me]
She's from Alaska
I kinda like how she looks
She looks warm
It's cold outside, nice and gray, love this weather
She's probably used to this because she's from Alaska
She looks happy. I wonder if she ski's a lot?
She looks a little tired, is that coffee she's drinking?
I wonder if that's how she looks when she's at the ski resort.
Must be fun.
Maybe I'll do graduate school in Alaska.
I always liked Alaska, it's pretty there.
Then I want to live in Northern California for a couple years
I love it there too.
Wow, I would have lived in almost every state on the west coast except for Oregon
Never really had a desire to live in Oregon
What do I like about her and the fact that she's from Alaska?
I don't think I would like the shorter days...
There's probably places in Northern California similar to Alaska right?
Maybe I won't do graduate school in Alaska.
I'll just stick to the original plan of Northern California.
Yup.
Mmmmmmm this coffee is nice and warm -
Ek! Whoops she just got her scarf in her soup...gross.
That sucks.

Welcome to my thought process. Stellar isn't it?

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