The Inbetween. A state where everything is fine and nothing is fine at all. Here let me describe:
In the Inbetween there has been no crazy disturbance. Nor has there been any life altering event. You are neither sad, nor are you happy. Everything is just...it just is. It exists. And you can't really remember when things were different. It has been a slow fade, and you've become numb.
Whenever I realize that I've been logging travel hours meandering in the plains of the Inbetween, I grow concerned. The most difficult and troubling place along this journey is this very moment - the battle against my budding care and the apathy that still rests heavily upon me.
There's a desire, a desperation, to feel something - anything. So you overindulge. And if it's possible, you're left even emptier than before.
Satisfaction isn't found in empty loves. Nor is it found in mindless vices meant to numb. It isn't found in store-bought happiness, or bottled pleasure. And that, I suppose, is the greatest enigma of them all. That satisfaction exists in the moment when you feel most powerless and most apathetic. Satisfaction lies there, you only need to unveil it. Now is the right time, in the midst of the Inbetween. Now is the perfectly right time.
The right time to change. To fight. To cry. To laugh. To be ashamed. To love. To feel. And the right time to realize that all you ever wanted was right there, with you. Shadowed, but still living alongside you.
As you let the scales fall from your eyes, and you exchange your grime for grace, you feel it again. Deep within you. The steady rhythm that tells you that this life isn't meant for simple existence. That beat reminds you that mistakes can be overcome, that habits don't have to be habitual, that there is chance for change and it begins in the present. Right now.
Awake, my friends. Be bold. Be brave. Breathe deeply. There is still time left, and the time is now. There is only an Inbetween if you agree to believe in it's existence.
- A