Homesick

A poem I wrote about chasing after love but never finding satisfaction.



We walk aimlessly
Down empty streets
And shaded alleys
For love we cannot find. 

Behind corner stores,
Between the grocery shelves,
Burried in crowded rows, and
Beyond uncaring screens – we search. 

We even crack the spine,
read the turn of riddled lines,
but find them empty too.

Surely, filled with love,
but none for you. 

Whilst lovers roam, desperately,
some believe they find the key.
But still they see they lack a single piece.
Such a strange, large spot to fill. 

I’ve witnessed none like it before -
Amongst the shelves, the streets or screens.
We still believe a gem is there amongst
the grime and dirt we see. 

Some find one they think may fit.
But trying they can't touch fingertips. 

Others, seem to fill the space,
but it hurts when shoved into place. 

We're either left with gaping holes, or we suffocate. 

Lovesick. 
Perhaps, homesick –
is what we really are.

Surrender

I'm falling in love with so much more than me.

This is a poem I wrote called "Surrender" It's about laying down your heart for God's heart. It's about searching after the ultimate love.

When I alone plan the course before

Less grace upon my head is poured

So I give up my heart to all of you

When I seek to gain an honored place

I know that I may fall from grace

So I give up my heart to all of you

When I pray that I may find true love

I fix my eyes on things above

And I give up my heart to all of you

When I think upon my hopes and dreams

And I pray about what might be

I give up my heart to all of you

It’s in you a put my trust,

It’s in you I put my faith,

It’s in you that all my dreams come true.

You are my everlasting love

On you I set my sights upon

In you I find true love and happiness.

You are enough,

You are enough,

You are enough for me.

So I give up my heart to all of you.

     It's hard to give up your heart, but God doesn't mistreat it.  God takes our hearts, heals the damage that's been done to it. He treats it like the precious treasure that it is. Proverbs 4:23

     It hurts because he refuses to just give us a band-aid, he removes the splinter and medicates the wound.  He loves us too much to let us live with an infection. Even if, like a young child, we fight and thrash and protest against His aid. Or when tears roll down our cheeks from the pain of removal. But He saves us from infection, or perhaps a fate far worse than that. Jeremiah 33:6

     All the while, He sees us through, comforting us. He gives us hope, love and the faith to dream of more than we would have previously settle for - because we didn't know our worth, we didn't know how the father has always seen us. Romans 8:29-32

     Dream big, all the while surrendering all of yourself to all of Him. The deeper we seek after God, the more our hearts align with His-the more our desries align with His. Matthew 6:21

     When we are seeking after the things of the Lord, it is far more likely that our desires will be given to us. Psalm 37:4-6    

     And in His perfect timing, He will bring about the truest, deepest, desires of our hearts. Ephesians 3:17b-20 

     If God is "good" than He is always good - even in our lack. Psalm 107:9

The Tin

I wrote this poem "The Tin" about my current state-of-being.

I woke up between worlds
in the green and quiet place.
The stillness overcomes me.
Becomes me.

Merged into one
I feel the heartbeat of the earth.
My lungs fill with each
breath it takes
It inhales, I exhale.

Patched by fabric and velcro
Kept together by glue and twine
Fastened tightly by bolts and screws
I try my best to keep from falling apart.

But they did not hold,
my joints bend and creak under
the weight.

But I've made it to this place.
Though I didn't walk here alone
I recall from my rusting stupor,
memories of weightlessness
and blurred floor beneath me.

In this green and quiet place
my hands are no longer made of iron,
my feet no longer made of lead,
and my heart no longer forged of steel.
for the first time, I feel -
I breathe.

I dig at a memory -
that I may have breathed before.
But it's distant and vague,
and like a phantom, it slips
away.

With a raven-haired halo,
I listen to our shared breaths,
feel the pulse of our hearts.

I inhale the sweet smell of pine
And exhale a garden.

There is life in this place –
where the river giggles past
and the water kisses the bank,
healing the edge.

There is shelter in this place -
where the trees grow tall
and shade the earth,
craddle the ground.

There is joy in this place –
where the birds sing cheerfully,
exchanging wholesome vows,
secret melodies.

There is love in this place –
where the water and the
trees and the birds
take care of me.

Lying here,
I breathe in your fragrance,
I can nearly taste your sweetness
on my lips. And I long to move
from the inbetween,
into your arms.